1. Opening Scene
I plan on opening up with a scene from the dorm about kids stuffed into one room. Then I will get into the atmosphere of the underage drinking in the dorms and show what is going on as well as what is being said.
2. Illustrative quote that will conclude your scene
“Pre-game is a must for parties, and it’s easiest just to do it here in our dorm.” Showing a girls standpoint but speaking for all other people.
3. Nut Graph: This is where you have to tell me what you are writing about, why it's interesting, and why I should care.
I am writing about underage drinking in the dorms. I am doing this due to its prevalence throughout the campus. I am also doing this because from the legality standpoint it is violating the students contract and also laws in the united states.
4. Background: Give your issue/subject context. Let me know how this issue started.
This repeating incident has occurred due to the atmosphere of being in college. Many students drink in college drink “According to a national survey on college drinking, more than 40 percent of today's college students engage in binge drinking. Twenty percent of students binge drink three or more times in a given two-week period. More than half of students who use alcohol said they drink to get drunk”
5. Supporting Information 1: quotes? data? anecdote? what is your point and how does it relate to the issue?
“Eight to 10 percent of the population in those freshman dorms is 21 years of age or older,”---The legality of the kids in the dorms is shown here. Most of the kids in the dorms are under 21 and it therefore illegal due to law.
“You like it?, I’m going to try to put this around a beer can this weekend so it looks like a Pepsi.”-The way kids get around it.
6. Supporting Information 2: quotes? data? anecdote? what is your point and how does it relate to the issue?
After hearing this I asked if he keeps alcohol in his room and he replied, “Is that even a question.”, he then pulled out a handle and 2 cases hidden in a storage container under his bed. This showed how many kids have alcohol concealed in their dorms.
7. Supporting Information 3: quotes? data? anecdote? what is your point and how does it relate to the issue?
Going to take a quote from residence life about the prevalence of it and what is done about it. Interview coming later in the week.
8. Conclusion: Wrap-up your story. What would you like your audience to consider as a result of reading this piece? What relevant future issue could you point to?
Although underage drinking is illegal nothing can really be done, more than what already is being done. In my mind as well as many others kids should be more qualified of knowing how to drink rather than not at all because it will always happen, especially at college campuses. So, being more knowledgeable will promote safety when participating in the illegal activities, since they cannot be stopped.
Jake:
ReplyDeleteWhen you write your nut graph, use it as a chance to frame your entire story -- to keep your examples on track and get a sense of what you are really trying to say.
This what I think your paper is trying to say. That, despite being illegal, students go to great lengths to drink underage.
I like your opening story and the quote about pregaming. I think it's interesting that she says it's easier in the dorms, especially when it's legal. Show us why it's EASIER. How students get around it.
Think about how the issue of 21-year-olds living in the dorms adds to your story. Does it? I know that it will be relevant to some other papers, where students are focused more on the banning of drinking in dorms, but maybe it's not so necessary for your paper: where you are looking closely at underage drinking and how prevalent it is. So maybe ditch the 21-year-old in the dorms issue and focus primarily on: How much underage students drink, where they drink, how they get away with it.
Get it? Keep your story focused. Consider the POINT of your whole story and then make sure that you have a POINT for each paragraph that supports the MAIN POINT, so that you stay organized. Got it?